AUSTRALIAN men are paying as much as $1600 to be coached in the art of picking up women by highly skilled dating instructors.
Los Angeles-based company Real Social Dynamics (RSD) offers three-day “boot camps” that train men how to approach and attract women.
“Most guys fumble their way through interactions with women and have no idea how sexual chemistry works,” says Tim, one of RSD’s local instructors.
Life skills … The dating game’s not all wine and roses.
“Attracting women is a skill set that can be learned and mastered like any other talent – and that’s what we’re here to teach guys.”
RSD puts theory into practice “in the field”.
On meeting dating coach Tim, aka “The Chariot”, I thought: “What the hell can this kid teach anyone about women?”
At 20, Tim is an average-looking Melbourne boy who works in finance. Yet within an hour, I’m watching him do things I’ve never witnessed before.
Tim’s student for the next three days is Steve, 23, a public servant from Adelaide who is decidedly awkward and reserved.
“Most guys link their self-esteem to the way women react to them, and it’s the completely wrong frame to come from,” says Tim.
“I look at the world as a playground. When you talk to women, you’re shooting hoops.
“Sometimes you get it in the basket, sometimes you miss, but you learn with every shot you take.”
Tim says the biggest adjustment any man needs to make to be successful with women is internal: “You’ve got to have fun and make it fun for the girl.”
Even before a man approaches a woman, she’s made judgements about his social value, says Tim, who declined to be photographed, saying anonymity was essential for his work in public.
Rich men, rock stars and handsome guys already have this value, but the rest of us are left to slug it out using body posture, sappy dialogue and vocal tonality.
“Alpha males – that tiny percentage of guys who know what’s up with women – act a certain way, and you can learn it,” says Tim.
Give-aways such as talking too quickly and laughing at your own jokes tell a woman clearer than capital letters that you’re needy.
“The vast majority of women prefer men who are in control, confident and funny,” says Tim.
“Not everyone is naturally like that, so we teach you how to fake it ’til you make it.”
RSD coaches say the best way to initiate a conversation is with a “neutral opinion opener”.
“Women love to give their opinions on a topic, especially if it’s emotionally charged like, ‘Do men lie more than women?’ ” says Tim.
“Instead of asking boring questions that girls have heard a thousand times … we involve them on an emotional level.”
Steve is taught to do this through a variety of “hot” topics and psychological games that on many occasions had women saying: “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”
“Women want to experience these reactions with men. It’s incredibly refreshing for them,” says Tim.
“It also makes any man, no matter what he looks like, an attractive partner.”
Over the course of a weekend, three things become apparent about Tim and RSD’s methods.
1. It’s a numbers game. The more women you talk to, the greater your chance of finding a female you like and who digs you.
2. Tim has an uncanny charm with women. Almost every group he approaches is stoked to talk to him and enjoys his company.
3. It’s rubbing off on Steve. The guy who had struck me as awkward 72 hours earlier is now scanning nightclub crowds like a gunslinging Clint Eastwood.
In just one weekend, Steve has talked to hundreds of females, compiling an expanding library of experience on what women want.
He has also made a fundamental discovery that, Tim says, will set him on his way to success with the opposite sex.
“The most important thing is having a positive mind set and having fun,” says Steve, pocketing a skater girl’s phone number.